Giant Microbes Heart Burned Gift Box

$19.95

Happy Red Tuesday all you dudes and ladies out there prepping to give your significant other the ax tonight. Yes, it’s true. The Tuesday before Valentine’s Day is the busiest break-up day of the year. It’s the last possible moment those looking for an out feel they can end their relationship without breaking someone’s heart too cruelly close to V-Day. And it’s their last chance to sever ties before they get sucked into the gift exchanges, expensive dinners, and lovey-dovey crap on February 14 themselves.

Now. If any of you out there are on the receiving end of Red Tuesday, or if you’ve been wronged by a breakup and scorned by an ex earlier this…life…might I suggest sending him or her a thoughtful V-Day box of herpes. And chlamydia. A little syphilis. That sneaky HPV. And a final “Cheers!” of Penicillin.

Giant Microbes are fuzzy, colorful plush toys shaped like notorious afflictions and diseases. The cuddly nasties range from the common cold virus and MRSA to the heart-shaped box of STDs you see here. This set, the Heart Burned collection, is packed with 5 terrific Gotcha! / F-ya! plushes for the guy or girl in your life who’s scrubbed away that thin line between love and hate.

If you need a quirky Valentine’s Day gift for someone you actually like, Giant Microbes also makes a Romantic Heart Warming box of plushies that includes an Egg Cell, a Sperm Cell, the Mono (Kissing Disease) Virus, Penicillin, and an Amoeba.

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Description

Happy Red Tuesday all you dudes and ladies out there prepping to give your significant other the ax tonight. Yes, it’s true. The Tuesday before Valentine’s Day is the busiest break-up day of the year. It’s the last possible moment those looking for an out feel they can end their relationship without breaking someone’s heart too cruelly close to V-Day. And it’s their last chance to sever ties before they get sucked into the gift exchanges, expensive dinners, and lovey-dovey crap on February 14 themselves.

Now. If any of you out there are on the receiving end of Red Tuesday, or if you’ve been wronged by a breakup and scorned by an ex earlier this…life…might I suggest sending him or her a thoughtful V-Day box of herpes. And chlamydia. A little syphilis. That sneaky HPV. And a final “Cheers!” of Penicillin.

Giant Microbes are fuzzy, colorful plush toys shaped like notorious afflictions and diseases. The cuddly nasties range from the common cold virus and MRSA to the heart-shaped box of STDs you see here. This set, the Heart Burned collection, is packed with 5 terrific Gotcha! / F-ya! plushes for the guy or girl in your life who’s scrubbed away that thin line between love and hate.

If you need a quirky Valentine’s Day gift for someone you actually like, Giant Microbes also makes a Romantic Heart Warming box of plushies that includes an Egg Cell, a Sperm Cell, the Mono (Kissing Disease) Virus, Penicillin, and an Amoeba.