The snake wouldn’t have had to ask my girlfriend twice if he’d looked like this.
Excuse me ma’am, would you care to pair my rich and tannic In the Beginning Barolo with one of these crisp, juicy forbidden apples? I’ve been decanting it for–
Oh hell* yeah, I would!
*Ahhh, the irony.
Riedel knows wine’s temptation, its charm, its desirability. The power it has over women (and, sure, some men too). And in response (or maybe just because they look damn cool) they’ve created this series of snakelike crystal decanters. The tallest is even called the Eve.
The Eve is a 24% lead crystal decanter mouth-blown into the shape of an upright cobra. It holds 48-1/2 ounces of wine and stands a dramatic 20″ high. It includes a DVD demo on how to pour from it since doing so without spatting delicious venom all over your recipient’s dress takes some specific turning and finesse.
The wide snake, fat with his aerating Syrah, is Riedel’s Mamba. It has a 52-7/8-ounce capacity, and was mouth-blown in Austria from the same fine crystal as the Eve.
Finally, the coiled Boa decanter is ready to pour 69 ounces of wine from its slanted mouth. Super fast too, as this snake’s corkscrew shape allows it to double-decant incoming contents, and open up wine in just seconds. Because the faster you’re ready to drink, the faster you’ll get drunk. And the faster you get drunk, the faster you’ll pass out. And the faster you pass out, the faster those coils can relocate themselves to a more comfortable spot nice ‘n’ tight around your neck.